MOON HAN
2023 ASCAP FOUNDATION YOUNG JAZZ COMPOSER AWARD WINNER
Original Chamber Jazz Composition
"Seeds You Planted in My Soul"
How did you say goodbye to someone that you cannot imagine living without? I didn't say goodbye, I didn't say anything ... instead, the pain and pity had transformed into this one-and-only piece, after life has split our shared paths for more than 10 years. This is a bitter-sweet chamber jazz song I wrote at the age of 27, to my first love, at the tenderest age of 17. He was my first listener, through countless phone calls, I carefully placed my phone next to the piano, knowing the boy I loved was on the other side. He always told me, "Moon, you should do music, you will compose a beautiful life through your fingers." His magical words have been carried within me days and nights, as I flow in music and art, in my search of life’s meaning. Looking back at the sweetest summer of 17, in tears and tenderness, I wrote this once-of-a-lifetime love song to this once-of-a-lifetime love that has existed, nourished and inspired me deeply, even though it was not a love that eventually landed in realty, it was such a love that made me who I am musically and spiritually. Music is where I store the beautiful souls I've loved and lost, where I revisit faded memories as if encountering them for the first time, where I awaken my listeners to their old, sweet loves and losses, and remind them how the past has shaped who they are in life. To F, someone who will forever hold a sacred place in my music and heart.
"The Rose and Her Shadow" is an innovative audiovisual project I designed in 2024. The seamless audiovisual communication is achieved by connecting Ableton Live with Touch Designer. This design intricately intertwines the realms of music composition, and visual storytelling. Rooted in the fascination with the contrast of beauty and darkness in everything, this project aims to dive into the complexities of human emotions through the metaphorical lens of a rose and its shadow. The visual capture of a rose and its shadow, illuminated by a front light to accentuate the delicate hues of pink synonymous with the flower. The organic motion of the rose during recording imbues the footage with a sense of fluidity, mirroring the ebb and flow of life itself. An original jazz composition titled "Late Summer Midnight" specially crafted composition serves as the sonic backdrop for the visual narrative, its haunting melodies and intricate harmonies weaving seamlessly with the on-screen imagery to evoke a visceral response from the audience. Holding sensory potential to resonate with audiences on both emotional and intellectual levels. "The Rose and Her Shadow" prompts viewers to reflect on their own experiences and perceptions of beauty, adversity, and the human condition. Central to the project's artistic vision is the juxtaposition of light and darkness. While the rose symbolizes beauty, fragility, and the inherent grace found in nature, its shadow serves as a potent metaphor for the unseen struggles, complexities, and uncertainties that lurk beneath the surface. To convey this contrast, vibrant waves of purple-navy hues cascade across the screen, symbolizing the unpredictable nature of life's challenges and the resilience required to navigate them.
This original jazz ballad echoes a little girl's heartache for her beloved elder brother, whose life was tragically stolen by a reckless driver's mistake. Ever since that harrowing day, the nine-year-old, her eyes brimming with yearning, has cast her gaze heavenward, time and again, searching the expanse for a sign of where her brother might now reside. It is said that our departed loved ones keep vigil from the skies. With each passing day and deep into the velvet nights, she tirelessly gazes upward, searching the vast tapestry of stars for just a sign. And then, in one fleeting, tender moment, as dusk painted the April sky with strokes of gold and crimson, she felt his presence. It felt like a touch but yet not a touch; it came to her on the wings of a haunting melody, a gentle echo weaving through the clouds — ethereal, touching, and unspeakably beautiful. It was as if her brother himself was serenading her with the warmth of his spirit, a soothing lullaby from above the clouds where the little girl’s longing and loneliness met the infinite for the first time. That little girl was me. As the years unfurled like the petals of a shy bloom, one haunting question wove itself into the fabric of my being, a spectral whisper that never ceased: Who would my brother have become if he had lived? What if the hands of fate had not so cruelly snatched him away? What if...? In countless quiet moments, I would close my eyes and imagine the life he might have led, the joy and wonder of his journey... a path I so wished to join. Despite the fervent yearnings of my heart for a universe where my brother's laughter echoed through the hallways of our home, that tender, luminous dream of what could have been remained just beyond my reach - a mirage shimmering on the horizon of my soul, it was still the one I would forever cherish in the sanctuary of my heart. Eventually, I came to understand that life was a delicate, exquisite tapestry, yet it seemed to drape over the shoulders of a phantom, a ghostly vessel charting a course through seas I was never destined to sail. All I could do was stand in stillness, at the shore and offer my silent salute. In the quiet of my sorrow, as I tread the path towards acceptance, and in my tender search for solace, I offer this heartfelt jazz ballad. May it stand as a solemn homage, my way of bridging the silent chasm to cradle my mourning, to honor the void left behind, like a haunting melody that stirs the soul, rekindling the treasured echoes of an indelible connection once shared with those who have departed. Let this jazz ballad, both touching and beautiful, became my solace, a poignant echo of a bond that even tragedy could not sever. To my brother, River, whose name beats in rhythm with my heart, to the unbreakable bond we share and to all the loves intertwined by blood— an eternal embrace, unyielding to time's relentless march.
